What About 2008?

Well, today is the last day of 2008! Funny, I heard two people say earlier this week that they can't wait for this year to end and that 2009 has got to be better - hope that works for them. Personally, I think 2009 will be a good year. Before we watch the ball drop, its always good to appreciate what we have done and what we have been through.

Here's my simple list of things to think about today before the leap second is added and we step into 2009:

1. Appreciate the good things that happened in 2008 - no matter how bad a year someone has, there are good things that happen. Take time to remember those good things. For me, I got promoted, my income rose, my riding abilities improved, my running has improved, I didn't gain weight, I have a place to live, food to eat, a cat that I occassionally like, a brain, eyes, ears, legs that all function, I am healthy, I have friends, and the list could go on.

2. Recognize the opportunities that came out of the challenges in 2008 - on the flip side, no matter how good 2008 was, there were challenges. Challenges are good to look at from several different sides. First, how did you get there and how can you not do that again. Second, how did you respond and could you have responded better. Third, did that challenge point you on a different path and were you willing to take it? Fourth, sometimes challenges happen, deal with them the best you can, and keep moving forward. My 2008 challenges: falling off the horse several times, navigating through friendships, leading a group that is not required by law to do what I tell them, struggling at times to build a business, getting to know who I am (the good and the not so good), taking complete control of my destiny, and again, the list could go on.

3. Keep doing, in 2009 the things from 2008 that made you smile - Number 3 and 4 sound really simple, but in practice are not done enough. Keep doing the things that bring you joy, happiness, and a smile (as long as they are not continually destructive habits). This is a conscious decision. Things I will keep doing: riding, running, building my business, talking to new people, reconnecting with my friends, traveling, name a few.

4. Stop doing, in 2009, the things from 2008 that made you unhappy - Possibly more important than Number 3, stop doing what makes you unhappy. Sometimes, it just becomes a habit that we don't take the time to break. And, sometimes, we don't see the way out. Whatever the situation, take small steps to decrease the unhappiness in your life. What I plan to stop doing: ruminating over things I have no control over, saying yes to things I know I don't want to do, PMS (not sure how to stop doing that, though), going along with others because I am too lazy to make my own decision, and, ................

5. Make sure that your thinking is a reflection of you and not what others (or society) says it should be - The media and society bombards us everyday with words and images on how we should think and live. Not to mention, our friends and families have their own views. Don't get lost in all of this. Make your decisions based on your inner compass.

Congratulations on making it through 2008!

My Favorite Music Experiences of 2008

A recap of some of my favorite music experiences over the past year!

1. Bedhead Betty - This has been a great year for these guys and I wish them an even better 2009. The maturation process has been incredible. Good sound, good music, good experience. My favorite song they cover: Disco Inferno! If you haven't seen them, they are a must in 2009.

2. Pandora.com - Pandora is a site that allows you to type in a particular song then it plays songs it thinks you will like based on that choice. Definitely a fun experience and can introduce you to music you haven't heard before. Good choice for listening to while you work (for those who are not oppressed by "the man")

3. iTunes/iPod - no possible way that I can run these days with out my iPod shuffle and the music I download from iTunes. Technology never ceases to amaze me. If you haven't moved to an mp3 player, its time. I haven't purchased a CD in a year and have found songs that I had forgotten all about. Best find: "I Am What I Am" - that will take you back a few years.

4. iTunes/radio/international - Absolutely incredible that I can listen to radio stations in Hunary, Iran, France, Tamil, Sweden, etc. You can find just about anything you are looking for and its great to hear other languages. Definitely my top choice for music to listen to while I work (I am not oppressed by "the man"). A few of my favorite stations: Beatone (Austria), Best Radio (France), BNN (Dutch), Switch 1197 (Brisbane). There is also the eclectic group, the dance group, and the folk group that I peruse to find good stations. If you haven't, give it a try. It's certianly a departure from the same old music I hear on the local stations.

5. radiotower.com - access to free radio stations online. Just another way to listen to different stations, different music. There are stations that iTunes doesn't have.

6. Satellite radio - I listen to Sirius (well, until my antenna broke) and its definitely worth it. Not only are there quite a few music stations, but the talk radio choices are great. I listen to it online sometimes, but mostly when I'm in the car. The antenna broke recently and I am stuck with local radio. It is driving me crazy! Once you make the move to satellite radio, its hard to go back.

These are just some of my music experiences from 2008. Not only is there more than enough good music for anyone and their taste, but the ways in which you can access that music are varied. I listen to BHB when I want live music, satellite radio in the car, iPod when I run, and online radio when I'm working. Each is a vehicle for something different.

What were your musical choices in 2008?

Is Action Generational?

It is that time of year where custom suggests we review what went on in 2008 and plan for what we want to do in 2009. As I've done this, I realize that I get caught in the "thinking" at times more than the "doing". Yes, I've added breaking that habit to my 2009 list!

A conversation with a 60 something Italian immigrant started me thinking about how different generations handle think vs do. Robert made an interesting statement that he studied science because that is what you did to get a job. Then, in your free time, you could study the things you enjoy like philosophy, language, etc. What a stark contrast to the current generation of college students! Most do not subscribe to that philosophy. The train of thought is to find what you enjoy doing (even love, if you are lucky) and pursue it.

Robert's generational thought was do it because you had to. The current generation is do it because you want to. Where does that leave my generation? The ones in the middle.

To move from the "have to" to the "want to" generation, we had to move through the "think about it" generations. A bridge exists from one side to the other and that is where my generation hangs out. I used to take pride in all my thinking, but now I realize, a good part of that thinking is an excuse not to act, not to step outside my comfort zone. I see that pattern in others. A multi-billion dollar industry (self-help) exists to help us think through things. Unfortunately, many of us don't get past the thought part. We walk back to our parents side of the bridge and start the process over again.

Thinking is good. But, thought followed by action, changes the world. Stop thinking and do.

The Holiday is Different for All of Us

Commercials and advertisements paint the perfect family holiday. How many of us have actually had the picture perfect Christmas? Part of the stress of the holidays is the self-induced pressure of trying to get everything just right.

The reality is that we all experience the holidays differently. And, different isn't bad. Spending time with family is great if you like spending time with your family. Choosing to spend time with friends instead is great if your friends make you smile. Staying home and reading a good book or watching videos is great if you are looking for peace and quiet.

Whatever it is that brings you peace, joy, and happiness is what you should be doing - not only this week, but all the weeks of the year. Enjoy your family, enjoy your friends, and enjoy yourself! Life is meant to be lived with a smile on your face.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year!

Things I Love About Tallahassee

There are reasons why I live where I do and have lived here for 10 years. So, I decided to focus on the things I love about Tallahassee.

1. Friends: I am fortunate to have a diverse group of friends - horse friends, non-horse friends, friends I have worked with, and those I currently work with.

2. Weather: A big reason I live in Florida is the weather (and no state income tax). While others around the country are freezing and snowed in, I am wearing short sleeves. This is GREAT!

3. Horses: Yes, I can have this in most places, but the horse community I belong to here is important to me as well as the horses I have grown to love.

4. Scenery: Big, beautiful trees, canopy roads, green grass, tiny hills, the Capital, the Park on Park, the countryside, Lake Ella.....

5. The airport: Strange, I know, but where else can you get to the airport in 30 minutes, get a parking space 50 yards from the terminal and get through security in less than 10 minutes? After going through other airports, I love ours!

6. The Black Dog: I don't go there as much these days, but it was a big part of my life early on...remember those days Jenny?

7. My subdivision: I love the house I live in and the subdivision. The neighbors are nice and its a safe place. I feel secure here.

8. Running: The weather here is great for running and the nice wide sidewalks outside my neighborhood are perfect!

9. Shopping: While not the greatest shopping place on earth, I can manage to find most things I need. Now, if Ann Taylor leaves the mall, I am in trouble. We have a good number of book stores, wine shops, clothing stores, and restaurants.

10. Traffic, or lack of: I spend several days a month in Atlanta. Tallahassee has NO traffic.

11. Hangouts: Because I have been here awhile, I have developed "hangouts". Beef O Brady's comes to mind. The manager, Dennis, and the staff there are great. Samarai is another place where the manager knows my name and, on occassion gives me free drinks!

12. Eclectic experiences: The opportunity to have interesting experiences does exist here, but it takes some work. In the last several weeks, I have seen the visual performance band, Of Montreal, listened to some good local musicians at the Warehouse, gone to Market Days, and ate at a soup and sandwich shop in a building that used to be a nursing home. The key is that I have to look for and be open to new things.

While Richard Florida's book makes strong points for finding a location that fits for an individual, a case can be made that if one looks hard enough in our current location we can find most of what we are looking for and if we don't find it, maybe we need to create it.

What do you love about Tallahassee?

Have You Reached a Social Media Tipping Point?

You may have read a mini-rant I had on a blog post several weeks ago regarding being too connected with people. I was starting to do more with Facebook and realized that there were people out there I just didn't want to reconnect with and that social media opened the door for those reconnections as well. I was wondering if I was becoming to connected.

The answer, of course, is no. I am not too connected and never will be. As I am doing more with social media, making it a habit even when I haven't established a community in that forum yet (ie Twitter), I begin to think in social media terms. What I post, what a tweet, what I put on my profile, etc all begin to take shape over time to reflect who I am (in 140 words or less). It has been hard for me to decide how all these social media outlets could really reflect "me". The key has been to practice, to use the forum again and again, and watch what others are doing. I had to experiment. I haven't fully cracked the code on conveying the person I am through these techno tools, but I am making progress. It has been fun.

As a result, I am approaching a "tipping point" as Malcolm Gladwell would say. The experimenting that I am doing and the effort I am putting in is starting to pay off. I am connecting with a broader group of people. My network is becoming larger and I can see patterns within the connections. Social media is becoming a routine part of the way I interact with people much like cell phone usage over the previous years. For me, it's all about communicating.

We don't all view social media the same way, nor do we all want the same things out of the experience. If you are not spending some active time on Facebook, MySpace or Twitter, you should. Take a few months and give it a try. Over that time, you will understand what you want, what you like, and what you don't like. You will connect with the friends you see everyday and the ones you see at parties, then you will connect with friends from high school or college. You will find those with whom you had great talks or great times and remember what they meant to you. You will begin to approach your own "tipping point".

Find out how social media can fit into your life. It's worth it.

Mentoring

Apparently, I am older and wiser. I have had a tremendous amount of experiences in my life and have had more than one successful career. There is knowledge in those experiences that should be passed along. But since I work for myself, there is no "mentoring program" in my office for individuals who are new to my industry or new in their career. Mentoring in the traditional sense, isn't built into my work environment. It should be.

I am reminded, on occassion, that the younger or less experienced consultants, watch what I do and how I do it. They make decisions on what is appropriate and what is not appropriate based on my actions - even the little things. Whether I actively engage in mentoring or not, my actions are a form of teaching. This is a scary thought. It means that I must consistently meet or exceed my standards. If I don't, someone is watching and someone will think that cutting a corner is acceptable.

With that said then, passive mentoring does not meet my standard. I interact with younger or lesser experienced people quite often. Numerous opportunities to mentor exist. One or two more comments on the "why" of what I am doing is a mentoring opportunity. One or two more sentences explaining the big picture is a mentoring opportunity. Taking someone to lunch and asking them about their career, what they want, and where they are going is a mentoring opportunity.

We all have experiences and wisdom to pass along. And, while our company may not have an organized mentoring program, we can still mentor. I have added mentoring as a focus in my career. I would encourage everyone to do the same. Take some time to think about the people you interact with and how you can help them, even subtly, move forward in their careers. Pass along your wisdom and your experiences. These are rich gifts that we should share.

The Need List

I was in a conference today with a large number of federal employees. I heard discussions on the hiring process, management processes, etc. The walls seemed to close in on me. Every word I heard was pointing out the obvious (the problems) - not many people were positive and not many wanted to put the time or effort in to solutions. I can hire a teenager to point out the problems to me (or, I am smart enough to figure them out for myself). What I need are solutions and very few people in that room today made it on my "need" list.

Ever wonder where you fall on your boss's "need" list? Do you point out the obvious? Do you emphasize (ad nauseam) the problems the organization faces? Or do you ask the question "what is the solution"? Thinking about solutions fosters solutions. Devon pointed this out a couple of days ago on a blog post comment. What we think about begins to take root and generate momentum as well as generate answers.

Don't get caught in the trap that office discussions often offer - a chance to vent. Be the agent of change that makes a less-than-stellar situation better. Be the leader.

The Best of.....

.......my day, today:

1. Don't waste my time with meetings.

2. Pay attention to the details.

3. Clients, customers, and bosses make judgements based on your actions - make every action count (See Number 2).

4. Seriously, I have got to have time to workout.

5. I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you.

6. There is absolutely no reason to require me to be sitting in a cubicle at 6:30am. In fact, there is nothing I am doing in that cubicle that can't be done by telecommuting (well, except maybe for Number 5).

7. Blocking internet content will NOT make me more productive (See Number 6).

8. Plastic is not a material to be used in making shoes.

9. Buzz words should be outlawed.

10. People are a gift.

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

If You Could Change Your Life....

would you?

This title was "benchmarked" from a Seth Godin blog post on December 1st. He is promoting his really cool business internship idea. If I lived in New York, I would apply. After finishing the article, I moved on to other blog posts and finished some work. But, after I was done, the title of his post was still with me.

If I could change my life, would I? When I repeated the title out loud, I was shocked at my response. Move. Hmm....did I really say that? Is that a "grass is always greener" default? Well, I can change my life - I have that power. We all do. So, maybe the real question is why haven't I?

This is not the first time recently that I have talked about location (reference Who's Your City post). But after more thought, I realized that while other cities may offer more opportunities for me, I won't capitalize on those opportunities unless I make some changes in the day to day decisions I make.

While big, hairy, audacious goals (i.e. radical change) can take us to a new level, its the routine things we do (the 2-5 yard gains for you football fans) that steadily move our lives forward and affect our happiness. So, while I think that we need to take those big steps, the real change comes in our everyday actions. I can change my life and I will - every time I make a choice. Here are some choices I can make everyday that will change my life.

1. Workout - there is no excuse for being out of shape.
2. Be happy - life can be MUCH worse.
3. Look at every situation as an opportunity - thought followed by action changes the world
4. Do something - no one is responsible for my happiness (or unhappiness) but me
5. Appreciate people, places, and things - its not all about ME.
6. Be responsible - financially, morally, intellectually.

I have been lazy in my choices and lazy in my thinking. It's time to just do it.

Think, then act. Take charge of your life and make it what you want it to be - every moment, every day.

Today's "Closer to Free" Friend

I read Susan Woods' blog entry yesterday and felt her excitement at taking a sabbatical during the 2009 - 2010 academic year. This is great news and I am very happy for her. This fits into a general theme I have felt this week of changing one's life to do whatever it is you are wanting to do. We hear this a lot, I know, and I am not suggesting recklessly making important decisions. But, Susan is a great example to follow. She saw a way to accomplish her goals 1) writing 2) traveling while keeping some balance with her current life. She has mustered the courage to DO IT.

I suspect we all have ways in which we can accomplish those deeper goals that tend to stay hidden without completely turning our lives upside down. The issue is that our real goals are the ones we will sacrifice for - if we are not willing to put the work into them they are just wishes. Recognize the difference and focus on your goals, not your wishes.

Congratulations and best wishes - Susan is "closer to free"!

A Different Form of Creativity

Last night, I went to The Moon and watched Of Montreal perform (until 1am - shocking, I know). OM is a performance art band that just so happens to have the great Davey Pierce as their bassist (son of my friends Bob and Diann). That should answer most of the immediate "why were you there" questions. What a great experience! While I probably won't follow them around the country, it was good to be open to something different. It was also wonderful to watch the proud parents.

Davey is a really cute, good guy. And, I am happy for him in how his career is unfolding. I have no idea, though, how he is able to keep the pace up. The band moves non-stop for two hours. There are no slow places, no breaks between songs, etc. No, they are not getting through the set with drugs either. They are a "no drug taking", "vegetarian eating" group! In addition to the music, are mini-performances. The entire two hours is choreographed to some degree with numerous costume changes by the lead singer, Kevin. The creativity that goes into the show is amazing.

Granted, I would not have read about this group in the paper and decided to go to the show. I went because I wanted to see Davey perform. But, I enjoyed the experience and left with an appreciation of the talent of the performers (not just musicians).

Everyone expresses themselves in different ways. Being open to appreciating the differences can add a little something to our own lives. Whose creativity are you appreciating today?

Music Anyone?

Its Friday. I am home and happy about it. I don't think I will have any time to do any thing before I leave again. My "got to get done" list is CRAZY.

So, I'm solving this time dilemma by blogging and asking....What are you listening to RIGHT NOW?

For me, its Bohemio Radio through itunes.

A Consultant's Day Two

So, with Monday came classic consultant mistakes, Tuesday brought much that is good about what I do. I compliment my consulting work with teaching and facilitation and today, I was team teaching a basic agro-terrorism course for Dept of Agriculture personnel (120 of them). Two days, two very different experiences (see yesterday's post, A Consultant's Day)

I taught a new section which typically means I am not as fluent in my presentation. Facts and examples don't come effortlessly at just the right time. Timing and transitions are not natural. The flow of words doesn't match the flow of slides. I was especially concerned because of the large number of people. I had to use a microphone - I don't like to be confined to one place and using a wireless mic limits the large number of hand gestures I use (I am Southern, you know, and talking with your hands is genetic).

But, everything that was wrong with Monday was right with Tuesday. I was "in the zone". Days like these are great. It reinforces my belief in my capabilities and validates why I do what I do. I love to talk to people, I love to facilitate discussion, and I love helping people make connections on things they might not normally think about.

We teach again tomorrow and I'm not sure I can deliver back to back stellar performances - that fact keeps me grounded. No matter how great the class went today, tomorrow is a whole different group of people and dynamics change. I can't sit back and expect tomorrow to be as great as today. I have to put forth the same level (or greater level) of effort. I have to keep refining my skills.

When was the last time you were "in the zone"?

A Consultant's Day

Today, I had one of those consultant days. It is the Monday after a four day holiday which, in and of itself, SCREAMS problems. I did some work over the holiday to get myself in a better position for a busy week. I knew I was on the "edge" of having it all together to keep my projects moving while out of town teaching.

I got up this morning and tackled all the pre-departure details and all the crap I had just been putting off. Feeling pretty good, I drive over to pick up a couple of checks (getting better!). Then, all hell broke loose. The edge was creeping closer to my feet and I made a few classic mistakes.

First classic consultant mistake, RUSH to get everything done before you leave. You always forget something or you make a bad decision.

Number two, get caught up in another's classic consultant mistake and compound your anxiety and workload. This usually takes the form of a bad decision which you pay for during the remainder of the week.

Three, lose all powers of reason and communication. Once you have reached a level of higher anxiety, the ability to make a good decision disappears and with that the ability to communicate, even remotely, with key players.

Four, I forgot the wall charger for my phone. This doesn't even require an explanation.

I'm not sure how my week will go. I am teaching tomorrow and Wednesday and will be covering some new material which I am not quite as familiar with so I am spending my evening "brushing up". My projects are on hold until Thursday and a quick look at my calendar really puts them off until Friday. Of course, there is always the weekend and yes, I will be working up until the time I leave on Sunday for another week of travel.

I hate it when I do stupid consultant stuff!

But, I love what I do and how I can do it. I am in control (for the most part) of my life, my world, my time, my energy. To paraphrase from a Bodeans' song, I am "closer to free".

Anybody else do anything stupid today?

Books I've Read in 2008

2008 is winding down and I am looking ahead to 2009. I put some thoughts into career and personal goals over the weekend - one of those goals includes reading. For today's blog post, I thought I would make some suggestions for your 2009 reading list from my 2008 list. These are in no particular order and I enjoyed all of them. After re-reading the list, 2008 seemed to be about globalization, motivation, and autobiograhies for me!

1. The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman - one of my favorites this year. I realize that most people read this several years ago. This book expanded my thinking beyond the world that I live in.

2. Rivals by Bill Emmott - Good discussion on the power struggles between China, India and Japan and how that can affect the world in the coming years.

3. Globaility by Harold L. Sirkin, James W. Hemerling, and Arindam K. Bhattacharya - Another good book on the affects of globalism

4. Obama - From Promise to Power by David Mendell - I decided to read books on both Presidential candidates and am glad I did.

5. Faith of My Fathers by John McCain - Part of my reading up on Presidential candidates. I admire John McCain and really enjoyed this book.

6. Be All You Can Be by John C. Maxwell - I had never read anything by John C. Maxwell even though he is a respected leadership author. Good motivational book.

7. China, Inc by Ted Fishman - Again, another book on how other countries are shaping the economic future of the world.

8. The 28 Laws of Attraction by Thomas J. Leonard - Motivational type book

9. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - This was given to me by Carol O. and, of course, Oprah was a big fan!

10. Basic Black by Cathie Black - I really enjoyed this book written by Cathie Black, President of Hearst Magazines and a force in the publishing community. A good mix of leadership and management discussion mixed with personal experience - very down to earth and applicable to the masses. She is now on my list of people I'd love to meet.

11. Who's Your City by Richard Florida - The book gives you a different perspective on how your location affects you both personally and professionally.

12. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell - I just finished this last night. When I first started reading it, I didn't like it. I thought he was saying that you had to have the right circumstances to be successful and if you didn't, you wouldn't - that is only part of it. The real message I take away is that average ability coupled with a tremendous amount of hours dedicated plus a few "lucky breaks" are what make most people.

13. The First Billion is the Hardest: Reflections on a Life of Comebacks and America's Energy Future by T. Boone Pickens - Good book. If nothing else, this is a great story of second, third, and fourth acts in one's life.

14. Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepeneur by Richard Branson - The Virgin brand is unmistakable. I even noticed a Virgin bottle of wine on Black Friday. In this book, Richard talks about what makes the brand, "the brand" - their focus on the customer and their culture. Good lessons for business people.

What were some of your favorite books in 2008?

Why Do I Blog?

ProBlogger says there should be a purpose to your blog. Providing that ProBlogger is the "end all" of blogging rules, then what is my purpose? The question I am pondering today is why I have a personal blog.

1. I like to write - I have always had an interest in writing, but I have never pushed myself to learn or practice the art. Blogging is micro-writing. A few paragraphs on whatever subject seems to be swirling in my head. Writing for someone with ADD (focusing is not my strong point).

2. My mind holds a ridiculous amount of stupid crap - Blogging 3 - 5 paragraphs is an outlet for the thoughts and ideas that I don't usually bring up in casual conversation with friends. Thoughts that don't seem to fit in between discussions of FSU football, the next trail ride, dressage versus jumping, or the date of the next Bedhead Betty concert.

3. Blogging forces focus - Referring back to Number 1, focusing is not my strong point. A blog post is graduated focus. Start with a subject, then follow the subject through with some line of logical thought, finishing with a conclusion and/or question. Good practice for someone whose focus is suspect. I haven't quite mastered the process.

4. Blogging fine tunes my thinking - If I follow the general process in Number 3, I push myself to think through a subject in a different manner than when its just "in my head". Working through a thought for others to read requires creativity, insight, and logic. I admit. I am lazy with my own thoughts and rarely do I get there when its just "in my head".

5. Blogging forces discipline - Another of my "not so strong points" is discipline. Having a blog and knowing that people read it pushes me to keep it up to date. Over time, I am incorporating this into my day. I am not where I want to be yet, but I am getting there.

6. Blogging allows me to have contact with friends that I don't get to see much - A personal blog communicates who I am and what I am thinking to my friends. I don't see folks as much as I would like.

7. Personal blogging is a test run to decide if I want to include blogging as part of my professional brand - Launching a blog that compliments one's profession can be beneficial to branding, marketing, networking, and client contact. But, before I jumped in, I wanted to see if blogging would be something I can follow through with. Can I keep a decent posting schedule? Are my writing skills strong enough? Personal blogging has been excellent in preparation.

Here are some general reasons why I blog. If you blog, what is your purpose? If you don't blog, why not?

Who's Your City?

I just finished reading Richard Florida's book "Who's Your City". He makes the point that choosing where we live ranks up there in importance with choosing our career and choosing our mate. I had never thought about it in those terms, but most of the time, I didn't have a choice in my destination - it was career driven. Now, I have the opportunity to reaccess where I live and how the personality of my city fits with who I am and where I want to go.

The book is based on years of research on the characteristics of cities, the characteristics of people, and their happiness in a particular city and region. There is quite a bit of data and, at times, it reads like a journal article. The bottom line, though, is that place does matter in our overall happiness. We need/want different things in different stages of our lives, but regardless, the place we choose to live in these different stages affects our happiness and success.

When I sit back and observe my friends, I can see evidence of Mr. Florida's research in my micro-community. Generally speaking, the people I think who are happiest in Tallahassee have family here or graduated from FSU and have a strong network of college friends in the local area. I don't think career opportunities rank high (other than those who came here for a particular job) in our city. Of my friends who do not have family here or did not graduate from FSU (me included), I think most are happy, but I don't think Tallahassee would have been a first choice. We are transplants and probably secretly think that one day we won't live here.

I live in Tallahassee because I knew someone who lived here. I was making a career change and it seemed as good a place as any other to go. Once I got here, I liked the weather, the trees, the grass, the small town feel in a larger town and I built a network of good friends. However, I don't think its "my city".

Where do you live? Why do you live there? And, is it "your city"?

Being Thankful

Yes, I am taking some time today to be thankful as I expect most everyone is doing. I think about the usuals: family, friends, place to live, good health. I try to recognize my good fortune everyday. One thing I am not good at doing is being thankful for the little things. The guy at the store who unexpectedly wished my Happy Thanksgiving and really meant it. His genuineness truly made me feel good. I am thankful that he took the time to make a real connection with me. There were other things yesterday - dinner with friends, good trip to the vet, fun with the horses, the cat waiting for me at the door. I often overlook ALL that is good with my life and take these little things for granted - just another part of my day.

A day of thanksgiving is a good thing. Most everyone I know (and who read this) are blessed in many different ways. Our lives aren't perfect, but we have food, shelter and some level of safety and security. There are millions of people in the world that don't have food, shelter, or even a basic level of safety and security. We are fortunate.

Enjoy this day of thanksgiving and carry it over into all your other days! Thanks for reading......

Darker Lipstick and Career Decisions

Yesterday, I had a lunch meeting with a mentor/colleague and we talked about opportunities and possibilities in 2009. It was a good mini-brainstorming session. At one point, she asked me why I hadn't taken some of my work to other states. Why had I not expanded nationally? I couldn't speak. The thought of pushing myself to that level was paralyzing. And, then, last night as I was winding down for bed, I realized my career fear was like choosing a darker shade of lipstick!

Saturday, some friends and I drove to Steinhatchee for a birthday dinner. Before we had even left the driveway in Tallahassee, one of my friends turns to me and says "You forgot to put lipstick on." Well, no, I hadn't forgotten. I did have lipstick on. In fact, I thought my makeup looked good. Apparently not. I told her I had lipstick on and she responded by telling me that I needed a darker shade. Yikes, darker lipstick? I am comfortable with the makeup I wear. It's not too much, it's age and personality appropriate. Darker lipstick is a statement. It draws attention to your face and lips. It puts me a step outside of my comfort zone. She was right though. I needed more color on my face and I needed to get over the fear of wearing darker lipstick. So, Sunday, I moved to a darker shade.

It's the same with career moves. I am comfortable pursuing work with firms I already know, people I already know, in a geographical area I already know. Putting together a plan to expand outside of that comfortable area left me momentarily paralyzed. Doubts and fears immediately moved in. But, my mentor was right. It's time to think larger and move out from the circle. So, today, I am working on the possibilities she and I talked about. I have, for the second time this week, chosen a darker shade of lipstick.

What is your darker shade of lipstick?

FYI - Here is the birthday cake I made for the Saturday night dinner. It was pretty good. My friends were going to make my cake for me, but I wanted to do it myself! I thought it was funny.

Diversity of Friends

I am lucky enough to have a lot of friends, but I am even luckier to have a diverse group of friends. I have friends who are younger and those that are older. I have friends who are wealthy and those who live well with less. I have straight friends, gay friends and friends that I am not sure which category they really fall in. I have single friends, married friends, "committed" friends and those who should be committed. I have friends with children, those without and those who wish they had them. (The picture is me with my friends' kids this past week - they are funny, weird, and smart. The youngest kept asking for me today - how great is it to be missed by a three year old? These kids are great!)

I have friends who are white, black, Latin, and European. I have friends who are there for me no matter what, those who laugh at my jokes, those who push me to be a better person and, conversely, I have friends who judge me, those who hurt me, and those who disappoint me - people are human and so am I.

I have friends who are Republican and those who are Democrats. I have friends who are artists, friends who are farmers and ranchers, friends who are scientists, friends who are politicians, and friends who are stay at home moms.

The point is that I have a rich and diverse network of people I interact with. The more diverse this circle, the more I learn and grow from them. I am very fortunate to have the friends that I do. I am fortunate that my friends add so much to my life by being so different from me.

Is your world rich and diverse?

Scratch Beginnings to New Beginnings

Scratch Beginnings to New Beginnings - Welcome to the World Skylar Lake Burger!

Yesterday (very early) my friend Heather gave birth to a linebacker, 9 lbs 5 ozs. She looks great. Dad looks more tired than she does. But, probably the best she will look for the next 18 years. Skylar is number three in the extended family. Number two is 17 months and very attached. The house has just gotten louder!

Congratulations Ron and Heather!

"Scratch Beginnings"

I read a very good blog post this morning about Adam Shepard, his experience and resulting book "Scratch Beginnings". Thursday Bram wrote about it in her blog at http://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/straight-up-from-scratch-beginnings.html.

Adam went to Charleston, SC with $25 and his backpack with "the goal of having $2,500, a car and a place to live by the end of the year". It was an experiment. He wanted to see if someone with nothing could work their way up and achieve the American Dream. He was homeless, living in a shelter, and looking for work. What a story and lesson!

Thankfully, I have never been broke or homeless, but I do slip into an occassional mood that tells me I can't change whatever it is I am unhappy about. The way it is, is the way it will be - for whatever reason. But reading about Adam's experience hits me in the face and reminds me that things are the way they are because I allow them to be. If I want something to be different, I must be different.

Desire followed by action is what changes things, period.

Fearless

I saw a great ring yesterday (which I will have in 7-10 days, ha.) that says Fearless. What a great word! And, it can apply to so many different situations. It reminds me of another F word that I use regularly that fits in so many different situations. In fact, they may be put together for extra emphasis. Anyway...

So many things change when fear is out of the equation. I talk to different people, I take chances in my career, I step out of my comfort zone, I go different places, I experience different things, I wear different clothes, I write, however, I have not tried online dating (that one's for you, Fearless Susan) - the list can go on. But the common denominator in all those phrases is a verb, I take action.

Taking action means living consciously. I don't do it all the time. I slip back and forth between passive and active - going along with whatever happens versus making a decision and leading the way. Living consciously does take more work but clearly makes me happier. Taking action doesn't always work out nor am I always successful, but the growth and the experience move me forward. Life is always about moving foward.

Today, I am fearless. How about you?

Following Your Instincts

I had one of those surreal moments over the weekend where my gut was telling me one thing and I chose to do another. As you can imagine, my gut was right. Sometimes, I go against my instinct because I think that I am becoming complacent and I need to do something different. Usually, my instinct is right and my brain is wrong. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Apparently, I am insane.

It seems so easy to sit here now and say that I will always follow my instinct, but my brain doesn't comply. I have a tendency to analyze, think, and then logically decide. This analytical approach doesn't have a box that says "check with your instinct and then follow it". My logical brain does not recognize instinct as a scientifically proven approach to problem solving. So, I am forced to deal with the internal battle of logic and instinct. I am living my own dual personality and, seriously, one of me is enough!

How, then, do I reconcile this inner struggle? Awareness is the first step. I have realized in the past several months that I do have "gut feelings" or "instincts". And, now that I am aware, I can listen. The trick for me is understanding the difference in an initial reaction based on fear or years of training and a true gut feeling. There is a difference, but it is subtle. It's not the same for everyone and I can't describe it. I just have to go with it and see how it works out. Then, repeat.

I guess that is what life really boils down to - go with it, see how it works out, then repeat.

Do you follow your gut or do you let your brain talk you out of it? Where would you be if you did follow your instincts?



FYI - me on a Paso Fino. Hmmmm...the pants make all the difference

Impromptu Fun

Sometimes, the last minute decisions turn out to be the best. Last night while out for milk and cookies, I saw that my friends were at a local sports bar. I thought I would stop in and say a quick hello (I did have milk in the car!). It was great!

Of course, we had to talk about the stories behind the blog posts which led into solutions to my inability to say no. The twenty something version is to just say "no" - that made me laugh. The forty something version had more words and never really got to no - more of a "lack of action" move. I am sure that somewhere there is a Sociology thesis in these two very different approaches between the age groups! Then, we made our way around to the "no" phone number which was appealing and funny.

I didn't know when I left the house that I would spend an hour laughing with friends. I was just going to the store. Sometimes, taking a detour is exactly what you need, at exactly that moment.

When is the last time you took a detour and where did you end up?

And, to accomodate a special request (yes, I know my heels are not down among other equitation faux pas'):

Drinking the Kool-Aid

I'm in. I am on the "change is coming" bandwagon. As such, he better f-ing deliver.

With so much talk of change, hope, new beginnings, etc, it was interesting that I was introduced to a new blog this morning that reflected some of those themes. Zoe Westhof is a expat living in Thailand. Her blog is visually appealing and her writing is enjoyable. She is a freelance writer and explores writing, innovation, choice, and change. Topics I love! If you get a chance, check her out and maybe add her to your feeder. http://www.zoewesthof.com/.

The perfect storm is hitting me this week. We have a President-elect whose mantra is change and he radiates hope. I read Zoe's blog this morning on moving forward professionally, and I have been spending the last week or so thinking and planning for 2009 (and how, exactly, I will pay the rent! I LOVE having my own business and my own brand!). The intersection of these events is the opportunity to "come through to the other side" for me. It is time to stop thinking, writing, and planning and time to start doing - much like Obama. The time has come for me (and him) to execute.

So, yes, I drank the Kool-Aid and bought in to him and bought in to me. Today, I will take action. I will sketch the rough draft of my upcoming professional blog and select a host.

What action are you taking today to move forward professionally?

The Day After

Yes, its the day after the 2008 Presidential election. I didn't expect to be as nervous as I was last night watching the early returns. I had been undecided for awhile. Well, actually, I wasn't undecided. I knew who I would vote for in the end, but I was wishing the other candidate had made a different VP choice. So, not being as "into it" as my other friends, I thought I would be alright with whomever won - that was not the case. I was VERY nervous watching the television coverage. It was the moment of truth and I was very strongly on one side.

The other thing that surprised me about my own reaction was the emotion I felt this morning when I woke up to the official outcome. I couldn't stay awake long enough for a declared concession, but was pretty comfortable about things when I went to sleep. I work up early and immediately turned on the news. It was official and I was emotional. When I really thought about what that election result meant, it was overwhelming. I would not have expected that our country would elect a black man as President. It is amazing.

Hope is important and I hope he delivers on the positive, forward-thinking message he has been carrying. Our country needs it.

What do you want to see him tackle first?

Are We Asking Too Much of One Person?

Today is the culmination of a very hyped up election season. In talking with my friends and thinking about why I voted the way I did, I realized how much our discussions focused on what one man could do for us. Are we expecting too much from our future President?

I am not downplaying the tremendous role and the level of responsibility that the President holds. But, with all the issues swirling around, I am concerned that Americans are expecting one person to come in and "fix it all". No matter who we elect, that won't happen. As any leader knows, real change happens when the members, citizens, or employees take the initiative and take action. We can vote in a new President, but if we as citizens aren't taking care of our business like we expect the President to take care of the country's business, change will not happen.

If you are looking for a leader who is positive and forward-thinking, are you? If you are looking for a leader who is inclusive and respectful of others, are you (and this includes those people who are politically against you!)? If you are looking for a leader to get us on stronger financial footing, are you making personal financial decisions that support this? If you are looking for a President who supports the environment, are you? If you are looking for a President who is working for solutions, are you? How is electing one person going to fix all that is wrong? It won't, but collectively, individuals can.

There is an excitement in the air knowing that our country will experience a change in leadership, one person or another, but it will be a change. We can't think that our job is done once we cast our ballot. We must "be the change we want to see in the world". All issues begin and end locally. Every time you talk about what you like or don't like about what the new President is doing, ask yourself if you are part of the solution or part of the problem.

What are you doing to reflect what you expect from the new President?

Why Does No Have to be Personal?

Recently, I was asked out to dinner. And, it wasn't a casual invitation, but something with a more a "I want to go out with you" meaning. I declined and what has come of it has been interesting.

To set the scene, I was listening to a friend's band at a local bar and when I left I was approached by someone I had been introduced to that evening. She asked for my phone number. I was hesitant and made several different attempts to dodge the request with various excuses. She was persistent and I gave in. She also asked whether I prefered a phone call or a text (which I think is actually a good question). I said text. Point of decision number one: I should have had something ready to politely say no to the phone number request. I did not and let this interaction go to the next step - my bad.

Two days later, I got a text asking me to dinner. I responded with "thank you, but I can not go for various reasons". Yes, probably lame, but how do you say no to a dinner invitation without leading someone to believe there is still a chance and without making them feel bad?

I didn't hear back and thought everyone had moved on. A week later, I hear through the "grape vine" that several people (including the individual) had asked a friend of mine why I wouldn't go out with this person, that I was rude, what was wrong with me, etc. What had been a simple request that I declined became a discussion of "why" and also a discussion of the various reasons why people thought I had declined -none that I heard were correct. The truth is I just wasn't interested - nothing against the individual, nothing against me - just wasn't interested.

Why does no have to have some deeper meaning? Can't someone just not be interested? And, how do you say no to someone without making it personal?

The 100 Day Challenge

As I was catching up on RSS feeds this morning, I came across an interesting project called The 100 Day Challenge. It is based on the idea that on September 22, there are 100 days left to the year. And, that with the right focus, you can end the year on a very strong note by accomplishing a few more goals.

What a great thing to think about this morning! I can say that I have been looking ahead to 2009 and mentally starting to coast through the rest of the year. I have the projects I need to meet my January 2008 goals so I am falling into the "downhill slide" mentality.

Funny how things come along just when you need them, and I needed a reminder about productivity and focus. I am going to take the challenge and see what I can accomplish in the last 100 days of 2008.

What about you? What are you going to accomplish?

The Move to Blogspot

I decided to move some of my posts from my myspace page to this blog. As you can see, there are alot of entries dated today.

Thanks for visiting!

Ready to Play

Week before last, I gave an oral presentation to a potential client. The presentation went well, but I just didn't have the best feeling when I was done. I found out Friday we didn't get the project. There could be many reasons why we didn't win (including cost), but I can't help feeling some responsibility in the "loss". I was the one who did the pitch.

As it turns out, I had to give a speech on Saturday to about 100 people with a few VIPs present (just to add a touch more pressure to the situation) and as a result of the previous week's experience, I decided that I needed to spend a bit more time preparing. I spent an hour or so getting my thoughts down on paper, thinking through the message, and finding a good flow to the important points. I put the effort in to ensure that I communicated with my audience. I knew I was prepared when I stood behind the podium (which I hate because I like to talk with my hands and I don't like microphones) - that little bit of preparation set me up for a smooth and successful speech. I knew when I was done that I had connected with my audience. It was an exhilarating moment - I knew I had totally kicked A**!

I may have been too lax the previous week in the unsuccessful presentation. I know I had not internalized my thoughts so I could speak easily. I never did connect with those to whom I was talking. It was everything wrong, that Saturday was right.The lesson in this is that every time you step up, you have to come to play. Be ready and deliver. I didn't go into my presentation ready to play, but I did go into my speech that way - it made all the difference.Whether its professional or personal, put the effort in. You will feel better about yourself in the end, and most likely, have the kind of experiences that make you happy.

Note: Myspace blog post transfer

Globalization

I am right in the middle of Thomas Friedman's book "The World is Flat". I realize that the book made a big splash several years ago and I am behind. This is probably the fifth book I've read on globalization in the past several months. It's an interesting and relevant topic.

Much of the picture painted for the average American has been a loss of US jobs due to cheap labor overseas. There is so much more to this global economic progression. Globalization has been around for a long time and its not going to end. India and China are opening up and millions of people are joining the workforce as well as becoming consumers. More minds, mean more innovation. Advances in technology mean easier ways to do business anywhere. Globalization is the standard now.

I am finding America's response to this both interesting and troublesome. Large corporations and academics are embracing and capitalizing on the opportunities globalization presents. Government and mainstream America seem to be resistant and distrusting. For me, globalization is exciting and full of opportunities. America has a chance to transform our workforce development efforts and capitalize on the "new world". We can make massive changes in the realities of our citizens if we embrace globalization as reality and figure out how, not to survive it, but thrive in it.

During the run up to the November vote, I would like to hear more talk about workforce development in response to globalization, strengthening education in response to globalization, and moving capable workers into the workforce. But, these are not hot button topics, the things that affect you and me every day like gas prices, health insurance, and whether or not our friends will survive their 4th deployment to Iraq. But, if we are talking about solutions to the problems, maybe we can avoid tomorrow, the issues that are affecting us today, by investing in the long term growth of our country and the economic strength of our people.

Note: Copied from my myspace blog Summer 08

All the Good Things

I was lying in bed last night trying to quiet my mind from all the things that are suddenly "on my plate". In the past several days, I got myself pretty spun up, nervous, and stressed out thinking about work stuff and horse show stuff. I had to consciously breathe and put things in perspective. It helped tremendously that I did not have to go to Orlando today (for several reasons including the terrible driving weather). I "got" an extra day to get some work done.

As part of that process last night, I focused on the good things that happened to me yesterday. I was amazed when I started remembering those little things that sometimes get lost in a busy day. 1) a woman I had seen at the farm gave me an unsolicited pep talk about showing and told me I would be fine 2) I got another new project as Project Director 3) I spent two hours at a horse group "social" that I had coordinated and met some great people 4) One of the horse guys is a chiropractor and he talked to me about a visit and what I could do for my soreness 5) Another one of the horse people has a blog that has social media and social networking posts on it he suggested I read 6) I talked for an hour or so to a horse friend in Texas giving me tips on how to get through the show 7) I had a funny exchange with Devon on her myspace update 8) the manager of the restaurant that I had the meeting at was excited to have a group in on Thursday night and told me he would get my lunch the next time I came in 9) the waitress knew me, brought my drink before I ordered it, and (I am sure) was happy to have a large table on what is usually a slow night - she did a great job.

In the course of that "crazy" day, I had nine opportunities to connect with other people in a positive way. I am sure there were more if I had been paying better attention. So, even in a day that seemed like it wasn't that good, there are moments of smiles and connections. I can only imagine the list I could come up with if I looked at the last week! I had a tendency the last few days to get caught in the roller coaster of stress and nerves. I was missing out!

What are the good things that are happening to you that you might be missing because your focus and attention are somewhere else?

Note: Myspace blog post transfer

Politics - yes, I'm going therre

First, let me say that I think the hype of being the first to know of Obama's VP selection by text message was poorly executed. Sending the text out at 3am?! Come on!

Past that though, we are now getting into the heart of the election cycle. Obama's VP choice has been made and announced. The news this morning is all about Biden. Interesting story, solid experience, and at times, his mouth is a wild card. Sounds like a good choice. McCain already has ads out of Biden saying Obama doesn't have the experience. It's all about strategy.

The speculation on McCain's VP choice is increasing as a result. Apparently, he will make the announcment next Friday after the Democratic Convention. The talk today heavily favors Romney.It is easy to vote the party especially in the presidential election. But, there are SO many important issues the country now faces and sometimes, those party lines are blurred. We still have reproductive rights, equal rights and the economy which are typically party issues. But, we have the changing face of foreign policy, terrorism, and globalization not to mention energy issues. I can honestly say that I have not definitively decided on how I will vote. The VP is an important issue.

For my own piece of mind, I am going to look at the issues that I think are most important for the health and future of our country as well as those issues that I think are fundamental for our citizens and see how the candidates stack up. But, also, who do I think will actually make progress (or the reverse, not do more damage) in the next four years. Honestly, I'm not sure either candidate will be what I want.

How are you making this important decision? Have you decided definitively?

Note: Myspace blog post transfer

Being Judged

Four weeks ago, I made a casual comment to my riding instructor about showing in a local horse show. Since then, she has had laser focus on getting me ready for the show on Saturday. I have never shown and have only been riding (well, correctly) for less than a year. And, I only got focused four weeks ago. Yes, I am behind the power curve.While Lakey has been adament that I would show, I kept saying maybe. And, earlier this week, I had pretty much convinced myself that I was too busy. Really, though, I am just scared. I am afraid to look stupid in front of all these people, afraid that I won't be able to get my horse to canter, afraid that I will run into a 7 year old on their pony, afraid that my legs will be flying all over the place. The bottom line is that I am out of my element in the show ring and that makes me HUGELY uncomfortable.So, yesterday morning, I told two of my horse friends that I was going to show. They are both coming to watch (at 7:30am, aren't they great!). I bought the clothes and boots that I needed. I downloaded the class schedule. I have been on the phone constantly with a good friend who spent half of her life showing hunter jumpers. I can't turn back now, because my friends won't let me.It doesn't change the fact that I am nervous. I am putting myself out there in the show ring and asking people to JUDGE me. Yikes! The funny thing is I don't want to look out of place, but I will because I am a beginner and this is my first show. I will do incredibly stupid things - its just what happens! I know that. I have been around horse shows for years. I have watched all of my friends do stupid things including falling off in the ring! But, if I want to stretch myself beyond where I am right at this moment, I MUST do it. And, I will do it. But, it will be nerve-racking and stomach churning the entire way. What stomach churning thing are you doing? Because, you know, misery loves company!

Note: Another transfer from the myspace blog Summer 08

Six Degrees to Six Seconds

I have an account on Facebook that I rarely look at. But, yesterday, I got a friend request from someone I knew growing up. We were good friends at one point so reconnecting with her was fine. When I looked at her friends, though and their friends, I realized that there were people out there particularly from high school that I just didn't want to reconnect with! They are not bad people nor do I dislike them, I just don't want to reconnect. Making one connection, though, opens the door to making these other connections. It's just too much. I liked the good old days when I was separated from everyone on the planet by six degrees or less. Today, I feel like it has gone from six degress to six seconds. I want my five degrees back!Yes, I am opening the connection door by having a myspace account and a facebook account. So, one could say its my own fault. Last week I marveled at how quickly I made a connection with someone from an obscure place in LA where I had once lived. Today, I feel I am on the verge of stepping back into the past through social networking. Technology giveth then technology knocks us down with a fire hose!Am I the only one on the verge of social networking breakdown?

Note: Transferred from my myspace blog Summer 08

Stepping Outside the Box - the red dress

This past weekend, I went English tall boot shopping with a friend and came home with a red dress and black two inch heels (not to be worn together). Definitely an outside of the box shopping day for me. I am quite comfortable in a dress as well as two inch heels. But, this particular dress, red, halter-top style is different than the typical dress I have worn. I tried it on at Diann's urging. And, at first I was skeptical. But soon the dress "wore" on me and I liked it - the way it felt and the different look it gave me.It is good to stretch our boundaries and do things we don't normally do. Sometimes, one step can open up an entirely different world and take us places we have never been. I don't expect the red dress will necessarily be one of those steps, but it is fun. And, life is about having fun!

Note: Entry transferred from my myspace blog Summer 08

A Plan, Any Plan

I had drinks with a colleague/friend last night. We covered the usual topics of how is work, how is the personal life, and what have you been doing. After we got through the relatively surface stuff, we talked more indepth about careers and relationships. We both mentioned a few of the things we wanted to do - travel to/work in Europe, manage the restless feeling we both have. Then, he asks me a very important question, "So, what is your plan?". I, of course, had no answer (and no plan).He has a plan for everything including how to pick up women. I'm not sure I want to have that many plans in my life. But, his point came through loudly. There may be a lot of things I want to do, but unless I put some type of "plan" in motion, I will not achieve even a fraction of them. Today, then, is a combination of "getting off my butt and getting some potential projects rolling" and planning.What is it that you want to achieve and what is your plan?

Note: Another entry transferred from my myspace posts Summer 08

What Works for Me

I caught up on Chris Brogan's blog this morning. One of his entries was "Do What Works for You". His focus was on the use of technology. There are so many applications out there, but not every one of them is right for every one of us. While I subscribe to that idea (just because you can, doesn't mean you should), his thoughts where a little more personal for me this morning.Do What Works for You and its companion phrase Let Others Do What Works for Them. I think as I have gotten older I understand the magnitude of this more than I did when I was younger. Even though when I was younger I had a tendency to want to show my independence by "non conforming", I don't think I understood how important it is to truly become comfortable making choices that support me. It took a long time (and many years of maturing) to begin to understand who I really am. With all the societal pressures of what someone "should" be doing, I still don't always make choices based on what works for me. It really does require conscious thought!But, what may have been even harder for me to grasp is to allow my friends to "Do What Works for Them" or to support my friends when they make choices that I don't think are correct. We have all done it - it's not just me!! Experience has helped me see past the world as it appears to me and I work harder now not to judge my friends or impose my thinking on them. I give my opinion when appropriate, but in the end I strive to let them "do what works for them." I don't always get this right and its easy to quickly revert to my old ways, but I do better than I did!So, today, do what works for you but also support your friends and allow them (or even encourage them) to do what works for them.I am off now to "do"!

Note: This is an entry I took from my mspace blog Summer 08

Small World - Where Exactly is Boothville?

I think we all have those "small world" moments. And, tonight, I was reminded just how small (and connected) the world really is. I was having a glass of wine, fighting off a Tuesday night funk when I heard Patti Rayne introduced at LA Women's Fest on TV. The announcer said she was from "south of New Orleans". I bet none of you thought you could get any further south than New Orleans. Surprise, you can.Having grown up in Louisiana and having taught school at the furthest point south of New Orleans you can get (Boothville-Venice HS), I was curious. I "googled" (no, I'm not on the Cuil train as of yet) her and checked out her website which did not give me any good information. So, I did the next best thing and found her myspace page. A quick email later and I get a response. Yes, you guessed it. She had lived in Boothville (population 2,200)! Seriously, you can't get any "smaller world" than that NOR can you get any more connected than that. I bet it wasn't 15 minutes from the time I sent the myspace message (and friend request) that I had a response. We hear the "six degrees of separation" theory, but maybe its really the "six seconds of separation" theory! You just never know what experience you will have on a Tuesday night! Check out her music on myspace.com/pattirayne!What "small world" experience have you had lately?

Note: Taken from my myspace post Summer 08

The Last Lecture

For those of you that did not see the short-lived headlines on CNN, Randy Pausch died yesterday. He was a Carnegie Mellon University professor who became well known for his inspirational attitude as he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The university sponsors a series titled "The Last Lecture" in which professors are invited to give what they would consider their last talk at the university. It is a hypothetical experience designed to have them think about what words they would like to leave with their students. Randy gave his in September 2007 shorty after he was told his cancer was terminal. This is a link to a Time magazine story. http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1826574,00.htmlI know we all see inspirational stories often. His is similarly inspiring. Maybe the reason it caught my attention this week is because I have a friend who is helping a family deal with the death of their 2 year old daughter or maybe because I have a friend who is in the midst of chemotherapy for breast cancer or maybe because I have a friend wanting patiently (or not so patiently) for medical test results. I know all of you have similar stories. This week, I have been reminded of how fortunate I am.Back to Randy.....The truth is that he is right. We will all die. And, the quality of our life is not so much measured in time but in the experience we make of it. So, make your life what you want it to be and enjoy the experience of living. I have decided to face a few of my anxieties including showing in a horse show (jumping) and maybe (still a maybe here) jumping out of a perfectly good airplane (once). And, I am going to spend more time making sure that the people I care about it, know it. What are you going to do?

Note: This is a post taken from my myspace post Summer 08

What I Do

So, I had my suspicions confirmed that most of my friends don't know what I do for a living. They know I don't work 8-5, I work for myself, and I am gone a lot. What I actually do when I'm gone is the unanswered question. It would be great if I could say "if I tell you, I will have to kill you", but my life just isn't that exciting. I am a management consultant. Generally speaking, that means that people (mostly government agencies) hire me to do those things that are outside of their normal activities such as strategic planning, training, becoming more efficient, etc. Two projects ago, I was working on a piece of a strategic plan that had to do with training and development of employees. The last project I did (finished it last week) was facilitating tabletop exercises for homeland security and then providing a report that gives recommendations on how the agency can improve its capabilities.My strengths are facilitating group discussion and interviewing people. And, also making suggestions for process improvement to gain efficiency. I enjoy the interaction pieces and communicating with people. I tend to get bored easily so new projects doing different things and meeting new people keeps me engaged. Right now, I am taking it slow this week to get caught up from the last six weeks of whirl wind travel. But, I will be back on the trail of new projects soon!

Note: This is a post I made in Summer 08 on myspace.

Building friendships/relationships

A lunch conversation yesterday sparked my thinking on building friendships. There are hundreds of books written about how to build your relationship with your signficiant other or how to build your professional relationships, but there isn't much talk about how to build your friendships.The truth is that we have to put time and energy into building our friendships. Most of my friends are busy people and it is hard to make time to see and talk with friends. But, if we want to cultivate that friendship, if that person is important to us, we have to find the time to make that contact. We can't just assume that because someone is my friend that they will understand how busy I am and that when I have some time I will call. In a relationship, that type of behavior would surely push two people apart. Why do we expect our friendships to be different?To build good friendships we have to put the same level of energy into those relationships as we do our intimate relationship and our professional relationships. Don't let the friends you care about drift away. Take some time each week to check in and reconnect. Who do you need to check in with?

Note: Another transfer post from an entry I made on myspace

Drive and Determination

I opened Outlook this morning to find a pdf presentation from an old friend. Tara isn't just any old friend, though. We've known each other 12 years and we have seen each other go through turbulent times - nothing for me like she has experienced. Tara has MS and it hit her hard and young (at 25). She has had good years and very, very bad years.A few months ago, Tara emailed me that she was going to ride in the 545 mile Aids Life Cycle in CA. She had been a cyclist in college and riding was near to her heart. She wanted the challenge and is passionate about the cause. This morning, I recieved the 22 page photo and text recap of her experience. Briefly reliving the ride with her through the pages left me feeling proud of her, but ashamed of myself. I have thought about all she has gone through since I've known her and to see her cycle 545 miles in hilly CA, I am amazed and humbled. She has never let MS stop her, slow her down, or alter her attitude or life. She has an inner spirit that glows, a drive and determination that surpasses most, and a true love of life and people.What the hell have I done lately?

(Yes, another Summer 08 post I made on myspace)

Immigration

I heard this morning that some local businesses had been visited by immigration and that a few employees had been detained. This is a very controversial topic that has directly affected someone I know. And, a topic about which I am conflicted.Yes, illegal immigration is just that - illegal. These individuals come into the country, do not pay taxes or social security, utilize our public services i.e. schools, health departments, and often are uninsured. Its not fair for Americans to shoulder this financial burden. There are others from those same countries waiting patiently to work through the immigration process to come to the US. It's not fair to those who put the time and energy into following the rules. No, illegal immigration is not a cut and dry subject. Our immigration processes are flawed, underbudgeted, and take a lifetime to work through. As people, those who come into our country illegally often have a better work ethic than those of us who are here - they truly WANT freedom. Sometimes, those of us born into freedom, take it for granted. Many who come into this country are simply trying to make a better life for themselves and their families. Having spent time in industries where there is a larger number of illegal immigrants than most other industries, I would say that there are Americans would not do these jobs for minimum wage and I have watched applicants come in and say those words. Until our work ethic as a society surpasses the desire of illegal immigrants, we will always have a problem. In the end, the law is the law and illegal immigration has to be stopped. But, we have to fix our internal issues - the immigration process, assistance programs that reward individuals for not working who can, and a growing American attitude of entitlement coupled with a decrease in our society's work ethic. These are not only issues that affect immigration, but will affect America's ability to succeed in a globalized future. But, as a human, I have sympathy for those who do come here, albeit illegally, with hope, excitement, and a strong desire to succeed.

(Note: This post was taken from a Summer 08 entry I made on myspace)

Igniting a Passion in Mid-Life

Hmmm..I talked to my BFF this morning who promptly explained to me WHY the twenty-something I listened to yesterday was so passionate about his work - he is twenty-something. And, that we were like that when we were twenty-something, but now that we are mid-life (and yes, she used that term, more than once. Really, how many times can she say that word in one conversation????) our perspective is different. Basically, she was telling me that I was not going to be that passionate about my work and that I should just enjoy life and not worry about it. This from a woman who decided yesterday to take a vacation in August to the South Pacific because "life is too short". My head is spinning. I also realized that if I don't talk to her everyday, I will be behind.So, is there truth to the idea that the older we get the less likely we are to be passionate? And, the old adage, "youth is wasted on the young" is true?I don't think so. I think she is just channeling her passion (it IS good that she has been "ignited") into a different direction. We can be passionate about our profession, our partner, our hobbies, our friends, our life in general, if we allow ourselves that luxury. And, face it, many of us think of having that level of passion as a luxury. It all comes back to listening to our hearts and taking a step (even if its small) in that direction. Nothing in life is easy and nothing is fair so being passionate will require courage and hard work. But, the payoff is great in the end!

(Note: This post was taken from a Summer 08 entry I made on myspace)

Lighting It Up

I read an interesting article about the book, Fire Them Up written by Carmine Gallo, on personal branding that started with the concept of igniting your enthusiasm. And, if we are not excited about what we do than no one else will be excited about what we do either. Then an hour or so later I saw this concept in action. I met a gentleman (who looked like he was barely old enough to drink) who was so passionate about his profession that he beamed. And, after talking with his colleagues, I found out how unbelievably successful he was. His enthusiasm was not the product of a polished sales pitch, but a true enjoyment of his profession. I left there realizing that I did not have even a small percentage of his enthusiasm for a large part of what I do. There are pockets that I enjoy to that level and a few new emerging areas that have that kind of "rush". But, I have always chosen the safe route because there is more (and easier to find) work in my less interesting areas. Big rewards require big risks - maybe its time I pushed myself outside of those familiar boundaries and ignited my passion for my profession. How many of you can say you have a "passion for your profession"?

(Note: This was a Summer 08 post I made on myspace)