Books I've Read in 2008

2008 is winding down and I am looking ahead to 2009. I put some thoughts into career and personal goals over the weekend - one of those goals includes reading. For today's blog post, I thought I would make some suggestions for your 2009 reading list from my 2008 list. These are in no particular order and I enjoyed all of them. After re-reading the list, 2008 seemed to be about globalization, motivation, and autobiograhies for me!

1. The World is Flat by Thomas L. Friedman - one of my favorites this year. I realize that most people read this several years ago. This book expanded my thinking beyond the world that I live in.

2. Rivals by Bill Emmott - Good discussion on the power struggles between China, India and Japan and how that can affect the world in the coming years.

3. Globaility by Harold L. Sirkin, James W. Hemerling, and Arindam K. Bhattacharya - Another good book on the affects of globalism

4. Obama - From Promise to Power by David Mendell - I decided to read books on both Presidential candidates and am glad I did.

5. Faith of My Fathers by John McCain - Part of my reading up on Presidential candidates. I admire John McCain and really enjoyed this book.

6. Be All You Can Be by John C. Maxwell - I had never read anything by John C. Maxwell even though he is a respected leadership author. Good motivational book.

7. China, Inc by Ted Fishman - Again, another book on how other countries are shaping the economic future of the world.

8. The 28 Laws of Attraction by Thomas J. Leonard - Motivational type book

9. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle - This was given to me by Carol O. and, of course, Oprah was a big fan!

10. Basic Black by Cathie Black - I really enjoyed this book written by Cathie Black, President of Hearst Magazines and a force in the publishing community. A good mix of leadership and management discussion mixed with personal experience - very down to earth and applicable to the masses. She is now on my list of people I'd love to meet.

11. Who's Your City by Richard Florida - The book gives you a different perspective on how your location affects you both personally and professionally.

12. Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell - I just finished this last night. When I first started reading it, I didn't like it. I thought he was saying that you had to have the right circumstances to be successful and if you didn't, you wouldn't - that is only part of it. The real message I take away is that average ability coupled with a tremendous amount of hours dedicated plus a few "lucky breaks" are what make most people.

13. The First Billion is the Hardest: Reflections on a Life of Comebacks and America's Energy Future by T. Boone Pickens - Good book. If nothing else, this is a great story of second, third, and fourth acts in one's life.

14. Business Stripped Bare: Adventures of a Global Entrepeneur by Richard Branson - The Virgin brand is unmistakable. I even noticed a Virgin bottle of wine on Black Friday. In this book, Richard talks about what makes the brand, "the brand" - their focus on the customer and their culture. Good lessons for business people.

What were some of your favorite books in 2008?

Why Do I Blog?

ProBlogger says there should be a purpose to your blog. Providing that ProBlogger is the "end all" of blogging rules, then what is my purpose? The question I am pondering today is why I have a personal blog.

1. I like to write - I have always had an interest in writing, but I have never pushed myself to learn or practice the art. Blogging is micro-writing. A few paragraphs on whatever subject seems to be swirling in my head. Writing for someone with ADD (focusing is not my strong point).

2. My mind holds a ridiculous amount of stupid crap - Blogging 3 - 5 paragraphs is an outlet for the thoughts and ideas that I don't usually bring up in casual conversation with friends. Thoughts that don't seem to fit in between discussions of FSU football, the next trail ride, dressage versus jumping, or the date of the next Bedhead Betty concert.

3. Blogging forces focus - Referring back to Number 1, focusing is not my strong point. A blog post is graduated focus. Start with a subject, then follow the subject through with some line of logical thought, finishing with a conclusion and/or question. Good practice for someone whose focus is suspect. I haven't quite mastered the process.

4. Blogging fine tunes my thinking - If I follow the general process in Number 3, I push myself to think through a subject in a different manner than when its just "in my head". Working through a thought for others to read requires creativity, insight, and logic. I admit. I am lazy with my own thoughts and rarely do I get there when its just "in my head".

5. Blogging forces discipline - Another of my "not so strong points" is discipline. Having a blog and knowing that people read it pushes me to keep it up to date. Over time, I am incorporating this into my day. I am not where I want to be yet, but I am getting there.

6. Blogging allows me to have contact with friends that I don't get to see much - A personal blog communicates who I am and what I am thinking to my friends. I don't see folks as much as I would like.

7. Personal blogging is a test run to decide if I want to include blogging as part of my professional brand - Launching a blog that compliments one's profession can be beneficial to branding, marketing, networking, and client contact. But, before I jumped in, I wanted to see if blogging would be something I can follow through with. Can I keep a decent posting schedule? Are my writing skills strong enough? Personal blogging has been excellent in preparation.

Here are some general reasons why I blog. If you blog, what is your purpose? If you don't blog, why not?

Who's Your City?

I just finished reading Richard Florida's book "Who's Your City". He makes the point that choosing where we live ranks up there in importance with choosing our career and choosing our mate. I had never thought about it in those terms, but most of the time, I didn't have a choice in my destination - it was career driven. Now, I have the opportunity to reaccess where I live and how the personality of my city fits with who I am and where I want to go.

The book is based on years of research on the characteristics of cities, the characteristics of people, and their happiness in a particular city and region. There is quite a bit of data and, at times, it reads like a journal article. The bottom line, though, is that place does matter in our overall happiness. We need/want different things in different stages of our lives, but regardless, the place we choose to live in these different stages affects our happiness and success.

When I sit back and observe my friends, I can see evidence of Mr. Florida's research in my micro-community. Generally speaking, the people I think who are happiest in Tallahassee have family here or graduated from FSU and have a strong network of college friends in the local area. I don't think career opportunities rank high (other than those who came here for a particular job) in our city. Of my friends who do not have family here or did not graduate from FSU (me included), I think most are happy, but I don't think Tallahassee would have been a first choice. We are transplants and probably secretly think that one day we won't live here.

I live in Tallahassee because I knew someone who lived here. I was making a career change and it seemed as good a place as any other to go. Once I got here, I liked the weather, the trees, the grass, the small town feel in a larger town and I built a network of good friends. However, I don't think its "my city".

Where do you live? Why do you live there? And, is it "your city"?

Being Thankful

Yes, I am taking some time today to be thankful as I expect most everyone is doing. I think about the usuals: family, friends, place to live, good health. I try to recognize my good fortune everyday. One thing I am not good at doing is being thankful for the little things. The guy at the store who unexpectedly wished my Happy Thanksgiving and really meant it. His genuineness truly made me feel good. I am thankful that he took the time to make a real connection with me. There were other things yesterday - dinner with friends, good trip to the vet, fun with the horses, the cat waiting for me at the door. I often overlook ALL that is good with my life and take these little things for granted - just another part of my day.

A day of thanksgiving is a good thing. Most everyone I know (and who read this) are blessed in many different ways. Our lives aren't perfect, but we have food, shelter and some level of safety and security. There are millions of people in the world that don't have food, shelter, or even a basic level of safety and security. We are fortunate.

Enjoy this day of thanksgiving and carry it over into all your other days! Thanks for reading......

Darker Lipstick and Career Decisions

Yesterday, I had a lunch meeting with a mentor/colleague and we talked about opportunities and possibilities in 2009. It was a good mini-brainstorming session. At one point, she asked me why I hadn't taken some of my work to other states. Why had I not expanded nationally? I couldn't speak. The thought of pushing myself to that level was paralyzing. And, then, last night as I was winding down for bed, I realized my career fear was like choosing a darker shade of lipstick!

Saturday, some friends and I drove to Steinhatchee for a birthday dinner. Before we had even left the driveway in Tallahassee, one of my friends turns to me and says "You forgot to put lipstick on." Well, no, I hadn't forgotten. I did have lipstick on. In fact, I thought my makeup looked good. Apparently not. I told her I had lipstick on and she responded by telling me that I needed a darker shade. Yikes, darker lipstick? I am comfortable with the makeup I wear. It's not too much, it's age and personality appropriate. Darker lipstick is a statement. It draws attention to your face and lips. It puts me a step outside of my comfort zone. She was right though. I needed more color on my face and I needed to get over the fear of wearing darker lipstick. So, Sunday, I moved to a darker shade.

It's the same with career moves. I am comfortable pursuing work with firms I already know, people I already know, in a geographical area I already know. Putting together a plan to expand outside of that comfortable area left me momentarily paralyzed. Doubts and fears immediately moved in. But, my mentor was right. It's time to think larger and move out from the circle. So, today, I am working on the possibilities she and I talked about. I have, for the second time this week, chosen a darker shade of lipstick.

What is your darker shade of lipstick?

FYI - Here is the birthday cake I made for the Saturday night dinner. It was pretty good. My friends were going to make my cake for me, but I wanted to do it myself! I thought it was funny.

Diversity of Friends

I am lucky enough to have a lot of friends, but I am even luckier to have a diverse group of friends. I have friends who are younger and those that are older. I have friends who are wealthy and those who live well with less. I have straight friends, gay friends and friends that I am not sure which category they really fall in. I have single friends, married friends, "committed" friends and those who should be committed. I have friends with children, those without and those who wish they had them. (The picture is me with my friends' kids this past week - they are funny, weird, and smart. The youngest kept asking for me today - how great is it to be missed by a three year old? These kids are great!)

I have friends who are white, black, Latin, and European. I have friends who are there for me no matter what, those who laugh at my jokes, those who push me to be a better person and, conversely, I have friends who judge me, those who hurt me, and those who disappoint me - people are human and so am I.

I have friends who are Republican and those who are Democrats. I have friends who are artists, friends who are farmers and ranchers, friends who are scientists, friends who are politicians, and friends who are stay at home moms.

The point is that I have a rich and diverse network of people I interact with. The more diverse this circle, the more I learn and grow from them. I am very fortunate to have the friends that I do. I am fortunate that my friends add so much to my life by being so different from me.

Is your world rich and diverse?

Scratch Beginnings to New Beginnings

Scratch Beginnings to New Beginnings - Welcome to the World Skylar Lake Burger!

Yesterday (very early) my friend Heather gave birth to a linebacker, 9 lbs 5 ozs. She looks great. Dad looks more tired than she does. But, probably the best she will look for the next 18 years. Skylar is number three in the extended family. Number two is 17 months and very attached. The house has just gotten louder!

Congratulations Ron and Heather!

"Scratch Beginnings"

I read a very good blog post this morning about Adam Shepard, his experience and resulting book "Scratch Beginnings". Thursday Bram wrote about it in her blog at http://www.lifehack.org/articles/money/straight-up-from-scratch-beginnings.html.

Adam went to Charleston, SC with $25 and his backpack with "the goal of having $2,500, a car and a place to live by the end of the year". It was an experiment. He wanted to see if someone with nothing could work their way up and achieve the American Dream. He was homeless, living in a shelter, and looking for work. What a story and lesson!

Thankfully, I have never been broke or homeless, but I do slip into an occassional mood that tells me I can't change whatever it is I am unhappy about. The way it is, is the way it will be - for whatever reason. But reading about Adam's experience hits me in the face and reminds me that things are the way they are because I allow them to be. If I want something to be different, I must be different.

Desire followed by action is what changes things, period.

Fearless

I saw a great ring yesterday (which I will have in 7-10 days, ha.) that says Fearless. What a great word! And, it can apply to so many different situations. It reminds me of another F word that I use regularly that fits in so many different situations. In fact, they may be put together for extra emphasis. Anyway...

So many things change when fear is out of the equation. I talk to different people, I take chances in my career, I step out of my comfort zone, I go different places, I experience different things, I wear different clothes, I write, however, I have not tried online dating (that one's for you, Fearless Susan) - the list can go on. But the common denominator in all those phrases is a verb, I take action.

Taking action means living consciously. I don't do it all the time. I slip back and forth between passive and active - going along with whatever happens versus making a decision and leading the way. Living consciously does take more work but clearly makes me happier. Taking action doesn't always work out nor am I always successful, but the growth and the experience move me forward. Life is always about moving foward.

Today, I am fearless. How about you?

Following Your Instincts

I had one of those surreal moments over the weekend where my gut was telling me one thing and I chose to do another. As you can imagine, my gut was right. Sometimes, I go against my instinct because I think that I am becoming complacent and I need to do something different. Usually, my instinct is right and my brain is wrong. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Apparently, I am insane.

It seems so easy to sit here now and say that I will always follow my instinct, but my brain doesn't comply. I have a tendency to analyze, think, and then logically decide. This analytical approach doesn't have a box that says "check with your instinct and then follow it". My logical brain does not recognize instinct as a scientifically proven approach to problem solving. So, I am forced to deal with the internal battle of logic and instinct. I am living my own dual personality and, seriously, one of me is enough!

How, then, do I reconcile this inner struggle? Awareness is the first step. I have realized in the past several months that I do have "gut feelings" or "instincts". And, now that I am aware, I can listen. The trick for me is understanding the difference in an initial reaction based on fear or years of training and a true gut feeling. There is a difference, but it is subtle. It's not the same for everyone and I can't describe it. I just have to go with it and see how it works out. Then, repeat.

I guess that is what life really boils down to - go with it, see how it works out, then repeat.

Do you follow your gut or do you let your brain talk you out of it? Where would you be if you did follow your instincts?



FYI - me on a Paso Fino. Hmmmm...the pants make all the difference

Impromptu Fun

Sometimes, the last minute decisions turn out to be the best. Last night while out for milk and cookies, I saw that my friends were at a local sports bar. I thought I would stop in and say a quick hello (I did have milk in the car!). It was great!

Of course, we had to talk about the stories behind the blog posts which led into solutions to my inability to say no. The twenty something version is to just say "no" - that made me laugh. The forty something version had more words and never really got to no - more of a "lack of action" move. I am sure that somewhere there is a Sociology thesis in these two very different approaches between the age groups! Then, we made our way around to the "no" phone number which was appealing and funny.

I didn't know when I left the house that I would spend an hour laughing with friends. I was just going to the store. Sometimes, taking a detour is exactly what you need, at exactly that moment.

When is the last time you took a detour and where did you end up?

And, to accomodate a special request (yes, I know my heels are not down among other equitation faux pas'):

Drinking the Kool-Aid

I'm in. I am on the "change is coming" bandwagon. As such, he better f-ing deliver.

With so much talk of change, hope, new beginnings, etc, it was interesting that I was introduced to a new blog this morning that reflected some of those themes. Zoe Westhof is a expat living in Thailand. Her blog is visually appealing and her writing is enjoyable. She is a freelance writer and explores writing, innovation, choice, and change. Topics I love! If you get a chance, check her out and maybe add her to your feeder. http://www.zoewesthof.com/.

The perfect storm is hitting me this week. We have a President-elect whose mantra is change and he radiates hope. I read Zoe's blog this morning on moving forward professionally, and I have been spending the last week or so thinking and planning for 2009 (and how, exactly, I will pay the rent! I LOVE having my own business and my own brand!). The intersection of these events is the opportunity to "come through to the other side" for me. It is time to stop thinking, writing, and planning and time to start doing - much like Obama. The time has come for me (and him) to execute.

So, yes, I drank the Kool-Aid and bought in to him and bought in to me. Today, I will take action. I will sketch the rough draft of my upcoming professional blog and select a host.

What action are you taking today to move forward professionally?

The Day After

Yes, its the day after the 2008 Presidential election. I didn't expect to be as nervous as I was last night watching the early returns. I had been undecided for awhile. Well, actually, I wasn't undecided. I knew who I would vote for in the end, but I was wishing the other candidate had made a different VP choice. So, not being as "into it" as my other friends, I thought I would be alright with whomever won - that was not the case. I was VERY nervous watching the television coverage. It was the moment of truth and I was very strongly on one side.

The other thing that surprised me about my own reaction was the emotion I felt this morning when I woke up to the official outcome. I couldn't stay awake long enough for a declared concession, but was pretty comfortable about things when I went to sleep. I work up early and immediately turned on the news. It was official and I was emotional. When I really thought about what that election result meant, it was overwhelming. I would not have expected that our country would elect a black man as President. It is amazing.

Hope is important and I hope he delivers on the positive, forward-thinking message he has been carrying. Our country needs it.

What do you want to see him tackle first?

Are We Asking Too Much of One Person?

Today is the culmination of a very hyped up election season. In talking with my friends and thinking about why I voted the way I did, I realized how much our discussions focused on what one man could do for us. Are we expecting too much from our future President?

I am not downplaying the tremendous role and the level of responsibility that the President holds. But, with all the issues swirling around, I am concerned that Americans are expecting one person to come in and "fix it all". No matter who we elect, that won't happen. As any leader knows, real change happens when the members, citizens, or employees take the initiative and take action. We can vote in a new President, but if we as citizens aren't taking care of our business like we expect the President to take care of the country's business, change will not happen.

If you are looking for a leader who is positive and forward-thinking, are you? If you are looking for a leader who is inclusive and respectful of others, are you (and this includes those people who are politically against you!)? If you are looking for a leader to get us on stronger financial footing, are you making personal financial decisions that support this? If you are looking for a President who supports the environment, are you? If you are looking for a President who is working for solutions, are you? How is electing one person going to fix all that is wrong? It won't, but collectively, individuals can.

There is an excitement in the air knowing that our country will experience a change in leadership, one person or another, but it will be a change. We can't think that our job is done once we cast our ballot. We must "be the change we want to see in the world". All issues begin and end locally. Every time you talk about what you like or don't like about what the new President is doing, ask yourself if you are part of the solution or part of the problem.

What are you doing to reflect what you expect from the new President?

Why Does No Have to be Personal?

Recently, I was asked out to dinner. And, it wasn't a casual invitation, but something with a more a "I want to go out with you" meaning. I declined and what has come of it has been interesting.

To set the scene, I was listening to a friend's band at a local bar and when I left I was approached by someone I had been introduced to that evening. She asked for my phone number. I was hesitant and made several different attempts to dodge the request with various excuses. She was persistent and I gave in. She also asked whether I prefered a phone call or a text (which I think is actually a good question). I said text. Point of decision number one: I should have had something ready to politely say no to the phone number request. I did not and let this interaction go to the next step - my bad.

Two days later, I got a text asking me to dinner. I responded with "thank you, but I can not go for various reasons". Yes, probably lame, but how do you say no to a dinner invitation without leading someone to believe there is still a chance and without making them feel bad?

I didn't hear back and thought everyone had moved on. A week later, I hear through the "grape vine" that several people (including the individual) had asked a friend of mine why I wouldn't go out with this person, that I was rude, what was wrong with me, etc. What had been a simple request that I declined became a discussion of "why" and also a discussion of the various reasons why people thought I had declined -none that I heard were correct. The truth is I just wasn't interested - nothing against the individual, nothing against me - just wasn't interested.

Why does no have to have some deeper meaning? Can't someone just not be interested? And, how do you say no to someone without making it personal?